Ben Bernstein: [00:00:00] This episode of Ramblin' on the River is presented by BB Riverboats. 

Sponsor Message: What does summertime in the Ohio river Valley mean to you from the deck of a BB river boat, it means a breeze on the water, lush views, historic cruise by the queen city skyline, BB Riverboats offers an experience as unforgettable as childhood summers.

This season, let our crew take care of you. As you cruise the mighty Ohio BB Riverboats, the river is waiting.

Moderator: You're listening to the Ramblin on the River podcast, presented by BB Riverboats. The Bernstein family has been a predominant name in Cincinnati's hospitality landscape since the 1960s, and this podcast will be a collection of the stories, tales, and experiences from their entrepreneurial [00:01:00] endeavors in the restaurant and excursion boat business.

Join as they take you on a A journey through the family's history in their own unique style. Now, here are your hosts, Ben Terri and Alan Bernstein.

Ben Bernstein: Well, hello everybody. Welcome back to the fifth installment of the Ramblin' on the River podcast. My name is Ben Bernstein joined by my father, Alan. No, Terri, you're, you're my father, Alan. Yes. Hello. Hi, everybody. Second on the list, Terri. 

Terri Bernstein: He's bitter that his name isn't, I'm the last one on the list. 

Ben Bernstein: Again, you can do all the production and send it over.

Hello everybody. My sister, Terri. Welcome everybody. Welcome back. Last [00:02:00] episode. We talked about the 1982 world's fair with our first guest, Alan Rizzo. Yeah, he was 

Alan Bernstein: good. 

Ben Bernstein: Who you will be hearing again from here, probably just a couple of weeks.

Alan Bernstein: Oh, for a different reason though. Correct. For a different reason 

Ben Bernstein: this week, we're going to dive into. The love story that is Alan and Mary bernstein now, I will say last episode we teased that this episode would be about us acquiring the Belle of Cincinnati in the summer In New Orleans, but we're gonna call a little audible Yes, we are going to do this one.

First. We have a very important piece of that episode that is currently out of the country. Yeah, Troy Mantheyy. So we're gonna switch it up. Hopefully nobody was looking too forward to that. You'll have to wait one more week. Before we get started, we please ask that you go and connect with the show by giving us a like and subscribe on any one of your favorite podcast platforms. You can also visit our [00:03:00] Facebook and Instagram pages, also our website at Ramblin' on the River. com.

Al, is it Rambling or Rambling? There you go, Ramblin' on the River dot com. Also, if you would like to connect with all three of us directly, feel free to email us at Podcast at BB. I have gotten a couple of emails. Yeah. Yeah. Let me, Oh, BB Riverboats. com. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. They like to jump the gun. We 

Terri Bernstein: like to talk.

Ben Bernstein: Yeah. 

Alan Bernstein: Come on. 

Terri Bernstein: And wait a minute. 

Alan Bernstein: Don't we have a rating to announce?

Ben Bernstein: I got to find the email. Hold on. Oh yeah, this is good. We did. We got a very, now, where did we get that email from? I don't either. I don't even, I have no idea. We have been 

Alan Bernstein: rated nationally. Hold on. We were maybe internationally. I don't know. It [00:04:00] it's from some podcast. Something. 

Terri Bernstein: No, we had 1500 downloads.

Alan Bernstein: No, no. We are nationally rated. 

Terri Bernstein: No, we're not. Yes, 

Alan Bernstein: we are. It's How did I not see this? We are It came in an email. We are nationally rated. I think it's 161 Out of 161. No, I don't know how to, how, out of how many. How do I find it? It, it was about four or five days ago, Ben. 

And we'll have to see. I think they, do they do it every month, Ben? Or maybe just once a year? Oh, I got it. Oh, got it. Got it. Oh, good. Here we go. 

Ben Bernstein: So read it. The big news, the big news From pod status. I don't this pod status, this could be a scam. A scam email. Oh no, 

Alan Bernstein: it's not a 

Ben Bernstein: scam, but it [00:05:00] says, I have some cool information that might interest you.

Your podcast Ramblin' on the River has had good performance and Apple Podcast over the last 30 days. We are in position 163 in the category of entrepreneurship. This data is provided by podstatus. com. Happy podcasting from Carlos from 

Alan Bernstein: podcast. 

Ben Bernstein: Now he did not say if the position 163 was out of a possible 163, but it says we are in position 163 in the category of entrepreneurship, that's 

Alan Bernstein: pretty damn good.

Ben Bernstein: I'll bet there's thousands. I would say you just have to submit some podcasts in order to get on 

Alan Bernstein: this list. Well, I don't know. I don't think this. I don't think we ought to say that. I mean, I think 161 is pretty good. 163. Don't, don't give 

Ben Bernstein: us too much. Oh, okay. Okay. So that [00:06:00] was our. Is that 

Alan Bernstein: the news of the day?

What don't we have something news of the day? Oh, 

Speaker 4: that's later. 

Alan Bernstein: Okay. Maybe I should have waited for later. It could have been news 

Ben Bernstein: of the day. I guess while we're on it, we could also say thank you to everybody. We've had 1725 downloads. So yeah, we're, we're about five to 600 per per episode, which I 

Alan Bernstein: didn't know that.

Ben Bernstein: I think a lot of that, if 

Alan Bernstein: not all of it is my building in in my residence, 

Ben Bernstein: There's some crazy super fans out there. Jeff and Mandy Kaplan are one of them. Ooh, we might even have potential sponsors they want to monetize our, our podcast. Oh man. We shall see.

They'll be very excited. We mentioned that. Yeah. 

Terri Bernstein: Alright, what are we doing today? 

Alan Bernstein: I'd like to give a shout out to all my listeners at the building. All your peeps. We had a pool party last night. You were the star 

Ben Bernstein: of the show. 

Alan Bernstein: Now, I wasn't able to do story time. 

Ben Bernstein: [00:07:00] Instead of me playing the little production.

Why don't I just cue you up and you can do your own? 

Alan Bernstein: Oh, is that coming up next? 

Ben Bernstein: I'll play our story time and then maybe you can okay. And then we'll ask people who's is better. Okay. All right. Hold on. All 

Speaker 8: right. Gather round everybody because it is story time on Ramblin' on the River.

Ben Bernstein: All right. Now your turn. Okay. Do you need a script or what? 

Speaker 7: Gather around, everybody. It's story time. All right. Oh, 

Ben Bernstein: I think that's going to get some high. 

Alan Bernstein: Oh, I think it is too. That's building. Go ahead and email that you liked my introduction better. 

Ben Bernstein: All 1982 world's fair. This week we are [00:08:00] going to get into the love story of Alan and Mary Bernstein.

You know a lot of people were asking, Mary isn't mentioned at all. And that is firmly your fault. Mine? Yeah. Oh, it wasn't my sister. It was not my fault. My sister cut her out of the photo. Oh my god, you did. She cut her out. She has been talking about it. Yeah. 

Terri Bernstein: It's 

Alan Bernstein: all about Emma She has been talking about it for days.

She was cut out 

Terri Bernstein: I am NOT a graphic design artist. Although I did go to graphic design. 

Ben Bernstein: You got to talk into the mic. I am 

Terri Bernstein: Oh, I 

Ben Bernstein: know why your microphones turned around you need the the logo to look at you. That's why you can't hear yourself Can you hear me now? Oh, my God. Welcome to the show, Terri Bernstein.

She's a late comer. At some point, this is our fifth episode. Yes. At some point, we're going to figure this shit out. [00:09:00] 

Terri Bernstein: I doubt it. I doubt it. I 

Ben Bernstein: doubt it, 

Alan Bernstein: too. But anyway, anyway, our graphic artist, Terri, our, our mother, your mother, I'm sorry, not mine, but your mother, why don't we use her name? We 

Ben Bernstein: say grandma and grandpa a lot and maybe we should say name Mary and Alan.

Not everybody knows who we're, but you can't say 

Alan Bernstein: Alan to me. It has to be Captain 

Terri Bernstein: or it's Captain Dad. 

Alan Bernstein: Yeah. Captain Dad. Captain Dad. But anyway, Mar, we're talking about you. So I hope you're 

Ben Bernstein: listening. All right. I guess to the beginning in the 

Terri Bernstein: seventies, 

Ben Bernstein: 1973, 19, you even know the year we got 

Terri Bernstein: married and said, Oh, 

Ben Bernstein: because it was just 50 years.

Oh, you mean, okay. You want to go back even before the mayor? I mean, you guys, you courted her. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. 

Terri Bernstein: Actually he courted her dating her roommate or her best friend. It [00:10:00] was her best friend. 

Alan Bernstein: No, right. It was her best friend. 

Terri Bernstein: What was her name? . 

Alan Bernstein: Do I know her name, but I can't remember

Anyway well, you, you don't know her name? Yeah, I do. I, you can't say I, I know her name, but I talk to, I, I'll, I'll think of it. Okay. B Barb Schumaker Schumacher. Well, it's close . Anyway, anyway. Mary and I met through her. And her parents found out that I was Jewish and that ended the relationship 

Terri Bernstein: with Barbara.

Alan Bernstein: No, with Barb. 

Terri Bernstein: Well, she went nice Catholic girl. 

Alan Bernstein: Oh yeah. Well, Mary was too. 

Terri Bernstein: Mm hmm. 

Alan Bernstein: How did you find all of these 

Ben Bernstein: good 

Alan Bernstein: Catholic girls? I don't know. I don't remember any of that. How I met Barb and then ultimately we were at somewhere and Mary was there and then introduced me to Mary.

That's how [00:11:00] I found Mary. And they happen to be best friends. They happen to be best friends. And then when Barb said, bye bye, see you later.

Terri Bernstein: You dialed up her best friend. 

Alan Bernstein: No, I, you know, I, 

so you 

Ben Bernstein: started dating. We started 

Alan Bernstein: dating somehow and I really don't. 

Ben Bernstein: Her parents were anti semitic. 

Alan Bernstein: That's well, I mean Okay I, I don't know, but Mary's parents were definitely not that way. In fact, they really welcomed me and I was invited over to their house. To have dinner. Now, Mary, we should talk a little bit about the whole houses because there are a lot of them. There are a lot of them. 

Terri Bernstein: Mom is the oldest of 

Alan Bernstein: Mary is the oldest of 10 kids. Let's see if I can do this properly. There's Mary, Jerry, Christy.

Christie, [00:12:00] Phil. She definitely not going in 

Ben Bernstein: order. Yeah. What do you mean Julie's? Julie would be the next woman. Not Christie. 

Alan Bernstein: No, no, no, no. Christie's older than Julie. Oh, yeah. Christy is number three. It was Mary, Jerry, Christie. Phil. You said Phil. Yeah, but I, yeah, Phil. Then Julie then. 

Terri Bernstein: Jimmy, 

Alan Bernstein: How many do we have? 

 Oh, Laurie, wait a minute. Laurie is after younger one. No, but she's before Jimmy, Ray, Jenny, and Laurie, 

Terri Bernstein: Jimmy, Ray, Jenny, and Pegy. And Pegy, 

Ben Bernstein: yeah. Yeah. This was his activity, not yours. 

Terri Bernstein: I can't say it either. I can name them all. 

Alan Bernstein: Now, now since we have gotten along past 1970s and 80s, they all have kids now.

Yeah. Can you [00:13:00] name all them? Oh, no, I 

Terri Bernstein: they all have kids and kids have kids. Yeah. 

Alan Bernstein: So, and I don't, what does that make me a great uncle? 

Terri Bernstein: Yeah. 

Alan Bernstein: Yeah. Yeah. I'm feeling older every day. 

Ben Bernstein: As Aunt Peg would say, she was a really good aunt. Now she's a great aunt. 

Alan Bernstein: Oh yeah. Yes. That's a good, that's Aunt Peg.

She's on the ball. 

Ben Bernstein: Those 10 kids, the first 9 came in 11 years. Right. And then Aunt Peg came five years after that. So that's 10 kids 

Alan Bernstein: in 16 years by itself. 

Ben Bernstein: It's pretty 

Alan Bernstein: amazing. It is a pretty amazing fact. And but that was back when families had big families and, and especially Catholic 

Terri Bernstein: families. 

Alan Bernstein: Well, you know, that it was, it was a part of of their life. And listen, I, I have to say the family, it treated me like I was a family member from day one. There were some bumps along. Oh, there were [00:14:00] some bumps and I can tell you one. That's pretty funny. Obviously not being a Catholic kid. Not that Jewish people don't pray before dinner time or lunchtime or whatever, but When I was invited for the first time to the Holthaus family, I think there were 18 or 19 people at the table and there was always friends.

So, you know, Jerry would have two or three for, you know, there was always people running around the house in not a very big house, a very small house, by the way, and let's see, there were only three bedrooms in the whole house. No four, their mom and dad lived in one room. Then there were three rooms where 10 kids bunked in three rooms, but there were a lot of, there were more girls than boys, so that was easy.

So when I got to dinner. Jerry Holthaus, well, I was the father Holthaus. Yes. Always distributed the food because if he didn't do that, [00:15:00] all the boys would eat all of the food. So Mr. Holthaus, the father distributed all your meal. So when it got around to you and they would serve their guests first and then I don't know if there was any particular order, but I might have gone oldest to youngest.

And some, one of the kids will email us and give us all this information. I didn't know they prayed before they ate. So I got my food and it was pretty early on and I started eating. And I, I didn't notice until father Holthaus yelled at Mary, Mary, we do not eat.

Before we pray and I looked over at Mary and Mary was not 

eating 

In fact, I was the only one eating at the entire table So I then realized oh, that was me that he was yelling at [00:16:00] not Mary it was pretty funny but so I I learned very very very early in my relationship with your mother that we pray before we eat.

So that was lesson one, was there any food left? Oh, no, no, no, no. 

Ben Bernstein: When he was done distributing the food. No, no, no, no. Oh, is there any food left on your plate by the time you got yelled at? Or did you just sit there and watch everybody 

Alan Bernstein: else? No, no, no, no, no. I had a little food left. Yeah. That's okay.

 I learned, you know, that's the way. How old were you? Let's see. Oh, let's see. I was a 19, 

Terri Bernstein: 19 

Alan Bernstein: Yeah, I was 21 and Mary was 20. She needed her mother or father's permission on a slip that we had to go to the courthouse and validate. And he had to go and speak for her.

In Ohio because we got married in Ohio, not in Kentucky. 

Terri Bernstein: So when you met mom, she was in [00:17:00] nursing school? Yes. She, 

Alan Bernstein: Yes, her freshman maybe sophomore year. Were you a little bit of a bad influence during nursing? Well, she says I was, but I don't think that that's really true. She says that she was, was kicked out of nursing school because she was spending.

Way too much time with me, but I felt really the, the sort of the opposite. Yeah. I, you know, what was she 

Ben Bernstein: taking you away from? 

Alan Bernstein: I was at UC. Oh, is that why you only made it two years? Yeah. I think that's why I dropped out is because of marriage. I 

Terri Bernstein: think the story goes, mom was in her last, 

Alan Bernstein: last year, last 

Terri Bernstein: year of nursing school, and if you fail a class, you're kicked out or you walk out.

Alan Bernstein: She was, it was 

Terri Bernstein: her last class of her last year. She was spending too much time with dad. 

Alan Bernstein: Well, that's what she says. 

Terri Bernstein: And. She flunked a class. 

Alan Bernstein: Right. 

Terri Bernstein: And so she had a finish at Christ. 

Alan Bernstein: She moved [00:18:00] from Good Sam Beam to Christ over to not Bethesda. Was it Beda? Bethesda's Nursing Program? Yes. I think, 

she went to a 

Terri Bernstein: different nursing school and finished 

Alan Bernstein: Yes, 

Terri Bernstein: because she did, she did graduate. She did graduate and 

Alan Bernstein: became a licensed registered nurse. We still have her first registered nurse. License. 

Terri Bernstein: Yeah. I saw it the other night. 

Alan Bernstein: Yeah. So she did make it through and became a coronary care nurse at St.

Luke. St. Luke is really, that name hasn't been around a long time. 

Ben Bernstein: No, 

Alan Bernstein: that's not. It's St. E. St. Thomas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I used to go late at night. She worked from three to 11. Yeah. And I would go, I don't know, nine 30 or 10 and go up the fire escape and go to the floor where she was. I wasn't allowed to, 

Ben Bernstein: you know, went up the fire escape.

Just see her. You can't, 

Terri Bernstein: she didn't get fired. 

Ben Bernstein: No. 

Alan Bernstein: [00:19:00] And you're trying to tell her you weren't a bad influence. I don't think anybody knew that I went up the fire escape. So were you just hanging out on 

Terri Bernstein: the floor while she was taking care of patients? Yeah. Giving CPR? No! 

Alan Bernstein: It wasn't that. It was busy, obviously. So you weren't allowed in?

No. Ha! That's why I had to go up 

Ben Bernstein: the fire 

Alan Bernstein: escape. 

Ben Bernstein: I can't picture you climbing up a fire escape. 

Terri Bernstein: He was a male model too at one time. I was a male model in Ecuador. I was a male model. 

Alan Bernstein: Yes. There are pictures. I have pictures of him. Not like a hand model. No. No. It was a full body. It was a full body model.

Yes. There's pictures of 

Terri Bernstein: him in a suit. Yes. Walking the runway. Walking the runway. 

Alan Bernstein: It was actually, a real nice suit. It was a real, 

Terri Bernstein: back to nursing. I wanna talk more about this. 

Alan Bernstein: The going up the fire escape? No. Okay. 

Terri Bernstein: About modeling

You [00:20:00] don't see dad being a model, 

Ben Bernstein: did you? In his Lucy Whitey . Not tidy, Whitey. 

Alan Bernstein: Oh, I got a new, we, we have a new, neighbor on the 9th floor, they just moved in. Well, you did too. Well, yeah, we're a new resident of the 9th one 

Ben Bernstein: of the, one of the, You, you had one of the longest moves in history.

Well, it's still not done. Not that we still have 18 

Alan Bernstein: boxers. Now I'm being, I'm being sarcastic in 

Ben Bernstein: terms of distance. Oh, you moved up. What do you think? Two floors, right? Yeah, but literally. 

Alan Bernstein: Yeah, but now we can't give the address because you don't want people coming. Oh, I know. Yeah. Your fan club will be 

Terri Bernstein: outside.

Oh, yeah. 

Alan Bernstein: Paparazzi. Well, I do have the pool girls that I meet up with at the pool. Are they listener? 

Terri Bernstein: Anyway, we're back to talking about mom, not the family love. 

Alan Bernstein: Oh, I can't talk about the pool girls. Okay. Why can't we talk about, oh, well, this is 

Terri Bernstein: about mom and [00:21:00] their love story. Oh 

Ben Bernstein: yes. Yes. Pool girls are part of the love story now.

Alan Bernstein: Okay. So we decided to get married. I asked your mother to marry me at a McIntosh restaurant. McIntosh. What do you remember? McIntosh? No. Yeah, he was a very good restaurant guy, good friends with with my father, with dad and they were, you know, independent restaurant owners and , at that time there weren't many restaurants.

How 

Ben Bernstein: cliche did you get? Did you hide the ring 

Alan Bernstein: in a water glass or something like that? No, no. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Did you get dead on your knee? Aye. Yes, I think so. He has no idea. Oh, yeah. , I was worried that she was gonna say no but the funny story about the ring is I couldn't afford You know a ring So we went to this jeweler down at Newport, I think 

Terri Bernstein: who's we 

Alan Bernstein: Mom, Shirley. And Marianne Bankamper, [00:22:00] who was our employee at the El Greco restaurant. Who a legendary employee. Yeah. Oh, she was 

Terri Bernstein: my godmother. 

Alan Bernstein: Oh, she was the greatest. she really was. . And the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the wedding band cost a total of 80.

Hey, back then, back then. Well, back then anything over a hundred dollars is pretty good, but I couldn't, I couldn't afford that. And she has it still today. 

Ben Bernstein: How did you ask her to marry him? At the restaurant, but we want details.

I don't know that you don't mom Oh, damn, we're talking and I thought well, 

Alan Bernstein: maybe I should ask her now. 

Ben Bernstein: Did you go, Oh, I dropped my spoon and you got it? No, no, no, no, we 

Alan Bernstein: weren't at a table. We were in the cocktail lounge. 

Ben Bernstein: For some reason. I don't know. 

Alan Bernstein: I guess she said yes, she did. however Casanova did it. She said yes, that's right. And she got the, , it fit. And she still has it today. [00:23:00] So that's sort of that. Now she goes home and tells her parents and of course my mom and dad were there already.

So as soon came some explanation of things that I was required to do in order to marry Mary.

Terri Bernstein: Were you going to get married in a day? Church. 

Alan Bernstein: We knew it was going to be a big wedding. Mary's immediate family was about 80 to a hundred, 

Terri Bernstein: right? 

Alan Bernstein: It was a big family. All the aunts and uncles there were a lot of aunts. Aunt, the nun, that was 

Terri Bernstein: her oldest 

Alan Bernstein: aunt was a grandpa 

Terri Bernstein: Jerry's sister 

Alan Bernstein: and all the others, they were a great family. It really was. And that the nun treated me like, like I was Catholic. Yeah.

Like I was the pope. Oh, you're like, I was the pope. 

Really the whole entire family just took me in like I was an orphan. And I mean, it was really, [00:24:00] well, they probably did, but anyway I was required a couple of things and the first one was probably the biggest obstacle.

After I got into it, and that was some catechism classes, that I had to take at the priest's house. I had to do six courses of three hours each at his, by yourself, just you and him, just me and him, and the priest talked like this.

And so three hours was more like six or eight hours. I mean, it was a long, a long session, but at the end of the session, he always walked me out the front door. Like you, what is wrong with her? 

Terri Bernstein: I have no idea. She can't keep it together. [00:25:00] She can't even breathe. She can't. This isn't even that funny yet.

Speaker 4: Because 

Terri Bernstein: I knew it was coming. 

Ben Bernstein: I'm not editing 

Alan Bernstein: this out. Oh no, you can't. Keep going. Anyway. So he walks me out, and his house has a very nice porch on it, and it obviously a set of two or three or four steps, and I go down the steps, and all of a sudden, he's alongside me, he takes a nosedive into the bushes.

Yeah, he walks right in. To the bushes. 

Terri Bernstein: I thought that was the very last one. 

Alan Bernstein: No, that was the first one And so I you know, I go over and I pick him up out of the bushes And he's got little twigs in his head and in his hair and down on his his his priest, outfit clerical collar Clergy cut yes, so he's bleeding pretty, all the twigs that I got out of [00:26:00] his head, he's bleeding. And I figured, well, you know, he has, I don't know, several of these. And I said, I better call an ambulance. I mean, I think he needs some attention.

And so I had to dial the operator who then dialed the ambulance. And yeah, there was no nine one, one, no nine, one, one. And then the ambulance got there and then I said, all right, I'll see you later. You're good. See you later. Yeah. You're, you're in better hands. Can't wait for the next one.

Oh, so the next week I go back and he's all healed up and We were sitting at the table and I kept smelling more and more the urine smell and he, he was talking giving me the catechism lessons and all that, and it [00:27:00] got worse and where the, the, the smell of urine got worse. This is a true story, by the way.

 I looked down and sure enough he has a large puddle of urine. And I still had an hour and a half to go.

And I didn't know if I was going to make it through or not. Because I was becoming overcome by the urine smell. And so I asked him, I said father, are you okay? I mean, you know, you feeling good. He, I feel fine. Yeah. He feels great now.

So my first two catechism classes, I had to call an ambulance for the priest and he urinated all over himself. I don't think we had any more real noticeable things after the classes, but you showed up, but I showed up for six of them. Three hours each. I guess you passed the test.

Well, I don't know. I don't [00:28:00] think they give you a 

Ben Bernstein: test. You just have to listen to what they have to say. Y yeah, yeah. 

Terri Bernstein: Did mom have to go? 

Alan Bernstein: Oh no, this is, no, no, no. It is just me. This is just to make sure he doesn't burn the church down. Well, it was just to make sure that the Jewish kid understood basic Catholicism.

I, I think that's fair. And it was, it was interesting. It really, I don't know that I'd like to go through 18 hours of that again, but it really was sort of interesting. That was the first test. Then Mary said one night, we can't get married outside the church. If the priest Does the marriage because the priest only does marriage inside the sanctuary So that the rabbi would have to officiate and sign all the papers that [00:29:00] the Priest could be there, 

Ben Bernstein: but could not officiate So you went through all those classes and you didn't even need to go?

Well, I'm sort of thinking 

Alan Bernstein: that way now that it's all over. Because if they didn't officiate, why would I have to do it? And why was this red flag not thrown before? Well, I, I, I, You mean a challenge flag. I should have challenged if I had to do this or not. So that was the second obstacle.

So I had to go hire a rabbi. 

Terri Bernstein: Did mom have to do? 

Alan Bernstein: No requirements to become a Jewish person. Well, I don't know. Come on, man. I don't know if that's true or not, but she did not have to do anything like I did. And he only married us. So 

Terri Bernstein: you decide to get married in the backyard 

Alan Bernstein: in the backyard. It was about 600 people 

Terri Bernstein: Backyard of Joy and Jerry's home.

Grandma and 

Alan Bernstein: Grandpa's house. Now wait a minute. It wasn't just their backyard. 

Terri Bernstein: Oh yeah, it was 

Alan Bernstein: amazing. It was the [00:30:00] next door neighbor and the next door neighbor's backyard. Which were huge backyards. They were huge. 

Ben Bernstein: And if anybody's living in northern Cincinnati, if you go to, the freezer department of Costco. That's about where they got married. Yeah. 

Alan Bernstein: That is true. In Sharonville. Yeah. In Sharonville. Right next to the frozen, we had an extremely unusual wedding invitation because it was done with caricatures, say that one more time.

Caricatures. Are you got 

Ben Bernstein: a tough one for you? It was a tough one. 

Alan Bernstein: Very similar to the El Greco advertisement of the, Italian restaurant with the Jewish couple and the Greek partner and the American steaks and Swiss fondue. And all those had a little caricature in, in the ad. 

Speaker 4: Yeah. 

Alan Bernstein: And so we thought we would do a invitation to our wedding and the invitation was done the same deer, [00:31:00] you know, and it was, it was a deer with the antlers and all.

We had a an unusual Wedding invitation, which was very well received. And so we got married in August, very hot day. We had a beautiful buffet. It was their entire driveway. It was laid out on their driveway. And it was from a place right next to El Greco at that time. It was a catering house, and I believe we paid 1.

49 per person for the buffet, the dishes, the silverware, the napkins and everything. So the catering. The catering, yes. Today for 1. 50, you can probably get an olive. 

Ben Bernstein: I don't think you can get anything. Well, maybe not. I don't know. It's, it's terrible. It's terrible. I was down in Amelia Island, and I think they were selling [00:32:00] cans of coke for about 8.

50. Yeah, 

Alan Bernstein: gosh. But it was a dollar 49 and it was, you know, it was sandwich meat. It was ham and Turkey and salami, whatever, right. But it was, it was very nicely done. And for a dollar 50, it was pretty impressive. Actually. 

 It was a hot day. We had fans.

But the trees did there was a lot of foliage. There was a lot of foilage. And so it was a very large attended wedding. Everybody had a great time. We had a band. I believe Julie obtained her first drunk. At 

Ben Bernstein: our wedding. That's the weirdest. Julie got drunk for the first time.

Yeah. Obtained her first drunk. I think. I'm going to start using that. She obtained her first drunk. Well, that might be the word of 

Alan Bernstein: the day, we get married in August and August to Christmas goes pretty quickly and we had Mary's and [00:33:00] mine first Christmas.

It was, one for the ages. Now I have to preface this story because my dad As genius as he was thought that opening Christmas Eve and Christmas day, we would do an excellent business, but it wasn't just excellent. It was over excellent. And we were loaded with people and the, the restaurant, it was just wall to wall from the morning to the evening.

And we actually closed at eight o'clock in the evening on Christmas day or night or yeah, day. And we got out of there about midnight because my dad had a rule that if people came in at eight o'clock, they got served. And so about 200 people came in about eight o'clock and we had to serve them [00:34:00] all.

And so I'm leading up to the fact. That Christmas Eve, I had to work till midnight. There was not a lot of time. There was no time for me, who was the last minute Charlie anyway, of shopping. I hated shopping. And now I'm done at midnight, and I realize I'm going home. 

Terri Bernstein: Can I stop you there? 

Alan Bernstein: Sure. 

Terri Bernstein: You got married in August.

Alan Bernstein: Yep. I, I fast forwarded to December. 

Terri Bernstein: No, no. I know. Oh. But you had between August into December. 

Ben Bernstein: How many months is that, Tare? 

Terri Bernstein: To come up with. 

Ben Bernstein: One, two, three, four. 

Terri Bernstein: You had four months 

Alan Bernstein: to get the perfect Christmas gift. She was still doing the math in her head. No, 

Terri Bernstein: to get the perfect Christmas gift. Why? Well, 

Alan Bernstein: yes.

I did have time. But I was busy. He said he was the last, he was the last second. Yeah, I'm the last second, Charlie. I still do that. Listen, I was shopping Christmas Eve at Kroger for Christmas morning [00:35:00] breakfast one day because you two insisted on having breakfast on Christmas Day. No, no, no, no. Do you remember this?

No, no, no, no. Oh, yes. No, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. 

Ben Bernstein: We were already having breakfast. Mom wasn't gonna make goetta and have bagels. She was gonna have something else Oh, so she sent your ass or something. No, she 

Alan Bernstein: said if you want goetta and bagels You go to the store. You went to the store. So I went to the store. 

Do you remember what happened at the store? Yes, I come out It was a sort of a snowy Christmas Eve and there was slush and all that stuff And And, you know, the store was swamped with people. Yeah. And so I go in to get this and I come out with my shopping cart and I roll out into the street and the guy in front of me in a car stops abruptly and I hit him in the ass. I mean, I rammed him with the shopping [00:36:00] cart and he gets out of his car screaming that I hit him, there's damage , and he gridlocked the entire parking lot at Krogers. People couldn't move one way, the other way in and out, whatever. So the store manager came out and said, sir, get back in your car and move it now.

Or I'm calling the cops. And the guy said, but he hit me from behind. It's his fault. He said, sir, he's in a shopping cart. He's not in a car. And the guy was insistent that I pay damage to his car. I didn't. He finally drove off? He finally drove off. Because he was dialing the police. Did you just go back to your car and go to a different Kroger?

Oh no I had already paid for it. Oh, you had already paid for it. He was going to his car. Yeah. Anyway, back to the story about Christmas Eve. Because you interrupted that with this. Very rudely. It was a [00:37:00] rude interruption. Not you in particular, but him, I think. 

Terri Bernstein: Oh, okay. 

Alan Bernstein: Yeah. So it's Christmas Eve at midnight and I panic.

So I got in my car. 

Ben Bernstein: At what point did you panic? Like, were you panicking like the days leading up to it? 

Alan Bernstein: Remember, this is our first Christmas. Yeah. She's a new, newlywed. Yeah. I'm busy with work. Special time of her life. Christmas is a big deal to her. Yeah, it was a big deal.

And a Jewish kid like me, you know, didn't feel like Christmas was a big deal. But anyway, it was. So I go down the street and there I find Walgreens open 24 hours. So I go into Walgreens and Walgreens looks like a bomb went off. I mean, there are things laying in the aisle. There is things upside down. And the [00:38:00] only aisle that had anything left was the Ronco TV products for good reason.

So I said, this is perfect. So I go down and I think the first thing I saw was the glassomatic. That was the Ronco glassomatic. Explained to everybody what it does. Okay. Well, you take a wine bottle, a green, dark green wine bottle, and this machine would sit on the bottle and it had a knife in it and you would go around in a circle a couple of times.

And then the top would come off and there would be a glass. It would cut the glass into a drinking glass, into a drinking glass. Then you had to sand the rim down because it would be a very sharp rim. You don't wanna cut your mouth, you don't want to cut your lips open, so you had to sand , the rim. It was a lot of work.

So I thought that was a great one. The glass somatic shoe in. Then one was the [00:39:00] matic. I thought that was the really good one. Which what just chopped your vegetables.

Yeah. It was veggie dicing and slicing and. All that. The other one was like the jewelry polisher or something. Yeah, there were four total. And so appliances everywhere. I got up to the cashier and the cashier looks at me and she says you look like you need some assistance.

I said, yes, I do. This is my wife's Christmas gifts, and I don't know how to wrap a present. So she said, well, sir, let me help you. What a lucky gal. I was the only one in the store. What a lucky gal. Well, she was very nice, and I think she felt really sorry for me, because if she was getting the four gifts that I got, she was not going to be happy.

Well, we get to Christmas morning, and Mary gets me all these nice [00:40:00] presents and I mean, it's a big deal and I had four presents for her and I think she was sort of surprised that I got her four presents 

well, when she opened the first one, I think it was the glass o matic and she looked at it and looked at it several different angles.

You know, you know how you would study something. And she started to, a little tear appeared in the corner of her eye, and I'm going, Oh, she loves this. Look at, she's emotional on how nice this present is. So I give her the next one, the cork o matic or whatever it was. What's 

Ben Bernstein: a, 

Alan Bernstein: what would a cork 

Ben Bernstein: o matic be?

It was 

Alan Bernstein: somewhere you could put the cork back in or take it out or something. Of like a 

Terri Bernstein: wine bottle? Yeah, yeah, 

Alan Bernstein: yeah, yeah. Something like that. Why 

Terri Bernstein: would you need that? You're cutting the wine bottle off. 

Alan Bernstein: No, you don't cut it off until you're done drinking all the wine. 

Terri Bernstein: Oh, you need the cork o matic to put it back in.

Yeah. You didn't 

Alan Bernstein: figure that out? Well, or to [00:41:00] take it out or whatever it was. You can't cut the glass if there's wine in there. Gotcha. Okay. And then the last one was the veg-o-matic, which I thought was this is, this is, this is the gold piece. This is the big 

Ben Bernstein: one. 

Alan Bernstein: This is the gold piece of them all.

And she opened up the, veg-o-matic and she said if you do this again, we're getting a divorce , and. I said, I'm really sorry, but this was the only stuff I could get. And it was a little tense in my household for about two weeks. Little tense. 

Terri Bernstein: I can only imagine. 

Alan Bernstein: Yep. 

Ben Bernstein: So remember what she got you?

It was, they were nice gifts. 

Alan Bernstein: They were nice gifts. She's good at presents. Oh yeah. She's still good at presentss. Very good. 

Terri Bernstein: She spends a lot of time on them. And does not buy them the night before. 

Alan Bernstein: About three years after you start [00:42:00] procreating Mary obtained a pregnant, a pregnancy Our daughter, Terri was was born so it was, it was a very special day. September 29th, September 29th, 1976. And she was a little, she was only like six. Is it six? She fit very well within two hands. It wasn't like you had to hold a you know, You were 75 pounds of birth. But anyway, 

Terri Bernstein: in the delivery room when I was, 

Alan Bernstein: Oh no. It was not allowed at that time of the pregnancy world. You had to go to the father's waiting area, which was very famous at good Samaritan hospital. 

Terri Bernstein: Really? 

Alan Bernstein: Yes. Mr. Holthaus had been there 10 times. Yeah. And they never remodeled it. It was all the same waiting room. Never changed. I don't know [00:43:00] if it's still there or not. Cause now you do in room births.

Back then, you were required to go into a dad's waiting room. I don't think anybody was in the room back then. So Terri Lynn was born. 

Terri Bernstein: I was born on grandpa, 

Alan Bernstein: grandpa Jerry's birthday, but the celebration, oh, and by the way, not only that, but we had had a pool at the bar at the restaurant for nine months, you could put your prediction in the pool, pay a dollar.

Yeah. Put a dollar in or whatever. So. Grandpa Jerry won the pot because he picked his birth his birthday Because why would you and he was closest on time. So he won the pot which it was a big deal The restaurant celebrated by naming a sandwich the Terri Lynn Sandwich. 

Terri Bernstein: It was an open faced sandwich.

Alan Bernstein: It was, and it had [00:44:00] a smiley face on it, and Ben, did you 

Terri Bernstein: get a sandwich? 

Alan Bernstein: Nope. Hmm. 

Terri Bernstein: How about that baby book? 

Ben Bernstein: Nope. Actually, it might be over here. I think only one 

Terri Bernstein: page is filled out, and it's the front page. I think it has his name on it, that's it. And his birth date. 

Ben Bernstein: To give you an idea, when mom and dad moved out of our childhood home, We were packing them up.

Terri's baby book. If you could picture a baby book. Could not even go further than 90 degrees. Because of everything in it. Because there is so much shit in hair in 

Terri Bernstein: there. My bracelets. Everything. Everything. 

Ben Bernstein: Mine you pull out and the pages are still matted together because they've never been opened.

Laughing. There's like the first page filled out with my name and the birthday. And that's about it. 

Terri Bernstein: I would like to say that was because they weren't very excited about you, but I think a lot of second children are that way. 

Ben Bernstein: No. What, that they [00:45:00] weren't very excited about? No, no. 

Terri Bernstein: That they get so excited about the first child that by the time the second child comes, they're like, oh well.

Alan Bernstein: Now I will say that Ben at his birth Aunt Laurie, who has passed away, unfortunately. Aunt Laurie was so mad at me. She couldn't even talk to me because mom was having labor pains and the Bengals game was on the big game too. It was a big game. We were 

Terri Bernstein: all there. I think we were all at that. 

Alan Bernstein: You were there too?

Ben Bernstein: I was not. I 

Terri Bernstein: was obviously there. I was five years old. 

Ben Bernstein: Yeah 

Terri Bernstein: But I think we were all at our house. I think Uncle Mark was there 

Alan Bernstein: And Laurie and we were watching 

Terri Bernstein: we were all watching dinner in the dining room 

Alan Bernstein: Laurie thought that I ought to take her to the hospital like two hours before we actually got to the hospital You said nope.

I said no we're gonna have to watch the game and I don't think she talked to me for a week. But [00:46:00] anyway, that is why i'm such a big Bengals fan. Yes, it is Absolutely, 

Terri Bernstein: you held off till the game was over. Yeah. So that was November, 

Alan Bernstein: that was November 29th, November 29th, 1981.

Terri Bernstein: We were both on the 29th. 

Alan Bernstein: A day before we were all scheduled to head for the World's Fair wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? November of 1981. Is only two months before 1982. And actually the 29th was only one month before 1982. And in 1982, we went to the world's fair, right?

With the boats and the barges the day before. 

Terri Bernstein: Well, cause they were supposed to leave. We were supposed to 

Ben Bernstein: leave and you were born. Are you going to leave the day after your kid was born? Well, we didn't know you were going to be born on that day. I mean, you had a good idea. Well, I don't 

Alan Bernstein: know.

Terri Bernstein: So did you leave, mom?

You just left. 

Alan Bernstein: No, [00:47:00] no, no, no, no. We, we held everything back a few days and then I left. Mom looked at her. You good? No, I'm outta here. Peace out.

One day you guys were growing and Mary comes home and says 

Terri Bernstein: I think I'm a teenager by now, 

Alan Bernstein: you're definitely a teenager. Yeah, 

Ben Bernstein: definitely.

Because I remember this thing. 

Alan Bernstein: Yeah. Mary, Mary comes home and says, my doctor says that you need to go get fixed because I shouldn't have any more children. 

Ben Bernstein: We need to make sure we don't 

Pop out any more demon seeds. 

Alan Bernstein: You're right. So Mary looks at me and says, you have to go get fixed. And I said, well Mary, I don't know if I have to, I don't know if I have to, I mean, can't you get fixed?

And she goes, Oh, that's major surgery. Oh, I mean, there were a hundred reasons why Mary couldn't get fixed. So my [00:48:00] cousin, a very close cousin was a doctor. And happened to be a vasectomy specialist. Which is what, a urologist? A urologist, yes. Dr. Kessel was a urologist. 

Ben Bernstein: You had a family member who was Urologist, yes.

I think that's a doctor that you kind of want to have a little anonymity. 

Alan Bernstein: Well, it was because of that way. Cause I couldn't afford a regular doctor vasectomy procedure. You were doing all right by this point. No, we were doing okay. I was still getting 50 a week. I think no, but anyway so a year goes by and I have not gotten a vasectomy.

I kept thinking it might be painful, might be painful. So the second year goes and in the meantime, mom's going, are you going to go get fixed? 

So I said, okay, we'll go, we'll go to the doctor. So we went to the doctor and the doctor [00:49:00] says, you know, come in. Because 

Terri Bernstein: mom had agreed to it? 

Alan Bernstein: Yeah. Had to sign that it was okay.

She has to give written permission for me to get fixed. At least she did back then. I don't know what they do now. So we get out of that and we go back and a month goes by and another month goes by. And finally I had an opportunity it was a Friday. I called up and I said, can you, you know, squeeze me in same day?

It wasn't the same day, but it was close they said, okay. You need to come at noon because they couldn't give me an appointment. And it had to be in between appointments. And , the doctor said that he would do it during lunch. So I went and the nurse gets me and she's takes me into a room and she says, you have to get totally naked.[00:50:00] 

And lay down on this gurney or what a table or whatever it is. Surgery table So she said, well, the first thing we're going to do is we have to shave. And I said, well, I shaved this morning. Everything's good. And I'm going, I don't have to shave. I did it for you. And she goes, no, Mr. Bernstein, that is not what we're talking about. And I went. Oh, no. So she's humming a tune and shaving and going around and having just a good old time. And I went this is quite a procedure. And then the doctor comes in and the doctor comes in with a little cart and has on the cart, two syringes.

That I swear an elephant couldn't take these syringes. They were huge. And so I'm looking at him like, I wonder what the hell he's going to [00:51:00] do with those. And sure enough, he says, here we go. So I said here we go. What are these for? He said, well, that's a syringe to numb your testicle, the left testicle and the right testicle.

And I went what and he goes, yeah, it doesn't hurt very much and he stuck one and I'm telling you I thought I was going to the moon and Within seconds, it's numb and then the other one the procedure happens and he says go home and rest Well, I didn't go home and rest. I went down to work. The nurse asked me when we first meet She said did you read the pamphlet? That we gave you when you came the first time, he said, no, ma'am, I don't even know where the pamphlet is. She said, well, did you bring a jock strap? I said, no. She said, did you bring this? No.

Did you bring that? [00:52:00] No. And she said it's going to be a rough day. This is going to be a rough day. You need to go home and and rest. So I went down to work and Just late in the afternoon, I get a call from the baseball team. Well, I was on a softball team and we were in the playoffs. The Lounge Lizards.

The 

Ben Bernstein: Lounge Lizards. Affectionately known as the Lounge Losers. Yes, yes. Did not win many games. 

Alan Bernstein: Well, no, we made the playoffs. We made the playoffs. Like one year out 

Ben Bernstein: of 

Alan Bernstein: the eleven that you played. Well, we made the playoffs. And I said I the big guy. We need you to pitch. I said, I can't pitch.

You can't say no. You have to pitch. I said, I can't pitch. And they said, no, you don't understand. You need, you're coming to the game, you need to be there. So, stupid me, it's seven o'clock, I go to the game. And I pitch seven innings of softball. And the Nova Cain's wearing off pretty good.

So I [00:53:00] drive home and I take my clothes off to get into the shower and I looked in the mirror and you were impressed with yourself. I was. Huge! Because I was so swollen that it was actually not funny. I mean, It was like those balloons that you see overfilled and they get all kinds of distorted My daughter's having a hard time listening to this story.

I'm trying 

Terri Bernstein: to climb under the table. 

Alan Bernstein: You've heard it for many years. 

Terri Bernstein: But you didn't tell mom you did this. 

Alan Bernstein: I did not tell mom. It was a surprise to her. Yes. 

Ben Bernstein: You are really good with surprise.

Alan Bernstein: When she got up the next morning and, oh my God, it was worse than when I went to the shower, it was much worse. [00:54:00] And I could not walk because the pain was so outrageous. You were down for a few days. Oh, yes. Yeah. At least. The swelling did not go down for about six months. I mean, it was a long recovery from a vasectomy.

You normally they go down in a day or two. Yeah. I 

Ben Bernstein: think six months might 

Alan Bernstein: be a little bit, it might be a little exaggeration, but it helps the story sound good. So that was my vasectomy story. It's a very famous story. It is a very famous story. I have to tell it to a lot of groups. 

Ben Bernstein: So you move on you somehow make it 20 years of wedded bliss. 

Alan Bernstein: Yes, 

Ben Bernstein: You know, some people might go to Jeff Ruby's or, you know real nice steakhouse.

You decided to go to El Coyote. We loved 

Terri Bernstein: El Coyote back in the day. 

Alan Bernstein: Mom hates Mexican food. Well, but it was Tex Mex. There 

Terri Bernstein: were steaks. There was Mexican food, but there was [00:55:00] also, you know. 

Ben Bernstein: That's right. And I remember there were pitchers and pitchers and pitchers of margaritas.

Yes, they were. And they started the moments that everybody arrived. 

Terri Bernstein: There was a bunch of people there. There was like 20 

Ben Bernstein: people there. Oh. There was a lot of people. But it wasn't like a big event. It was just like working. We all went to dinner. And we had to wait, we had to wait an hour, an hour and a half for our table. Oh, we did? 

Terri Bernstein: Yeah. It was a long time. 

Ben Bernstein: Okay. And the number of pitchers. That were empty by the time we even got to our table. It was serious. Was astounding. Well, you and I would know because 

Terri Bernstein: we were the only two sober people.

We were the 

Ben Bernstein: only two sober people there. 

Terri Bernstein: And probably the only two kids. 

Ben Bernstein: I think you were the only two kids. We were in the green Lincoln. The green Lincoln. Or we were in one of the Lincolns. I don't know if it was the 

Alan Bernstein: green Lincoln. Well, it might not have been the green Lincoln. But it was. I realized very quickly when we got up from the table, I couldn't drive.

And if I couldn't drive, mom could not drive.

Terri Bernstein: Luckily I had my [00:56:00] Terri was 16 years old. 

Alan Bernstein: Yeah. She had her temps and she 

Ben Bernstein: drove us home. I guess this was after your actual anniversary. If you had your temps, cause you weren't 16 yet, it was in August. You weren't 16 yet. Oh, I may. I don't know that I did hit my temps.

I don't think you did. I think she drove home. I've only said that you did, but I don't think you did. That was the big debate dad was out. Actually, mom drove home.

I know. But the major family debate was is mom going to drive us home drunk? Or is Terri who does not have a driver's license, where was El? El Cao was in Beachmont Beach. It was in Beachmont. Beachmont in Beaumont Beach. Yeah. It's not like we were right next to home. 

Terri Bernstein: We rolled down all the windows.

It was cold outside. Yeah. But that doesn't make any sense either. Wouldn't have been cold in August. 

Ben Bernstein: Maybe you did have your temps maybe we did it a few months later 

Alan Bernstein: maybe after the cruising season ended or so. 

Terri Bernstein: But Mom drove.

We hit, mom drove, I sat next to her and I helped her. Here's, 

Ben Bernstein: here's [00:57:00] how much the world has changed. Dad and I sat in the back seat. Yeah. Not one of the four of us had seat belts on. No. I am laying across the back of the Lincoln That's right in Dad's lap, laying on Dad's lap. And I am screaming, we're all going to die, 

Terri Bernstein: we're all going to die.

And I'm focused trying to keep mom on the road, helping her steer the car. It 

Ben Bernstein: probably doesn't make us look real great. But 

Terri Bernstein: I think a lot of people did. . 

Ben Bernstein: So five years later, you threw a big party on the River Queen for your 25th anniversary.

And the one thing I remember from that party is your big cardboard cutout of your wedding photo, your original wedding photo. We had it turned into a life size cardboard cutout that every single person. Got a boarding photo with that's correct every single one and we still have it And you had planned on giving mom a very special gift.

Alan Bernstein: [00:58:00] Yes I thought since 25 years earlier. I could not afford a nice ring I decided to go to a custom jeweler in downtown cincinnati Where you had to get buzzed in it wasn't like you could walk in and get oh, what was 

Ben Bernstein: the name of that? Wait a minute. 

Alan Bernstein: I did take you there but Terri Voet Got me tied up with this jeweler.

And so I called and I, yes, it is who to pull jewelry. They made custom jewelry for a hundred years. And so I went over there and I said Mr. Hudepol actually, it was a son. I said I want a special ring for my wife's 25th wedding anniversary. She has a very. Nice diamond ring, but it's not the quality that I would have liked to have gotten her.

And he said, if you want a custom piece of jewelry, the only guarantee that we [00:59:00] have on jewelry is if she doesn't want it, you can bring it back. But I will tell you, nobody has brought back a ring, nobody. So I'm thinking this is a pretty good place to go. So I ordered this beautiful first 

Ben Bernstein: time 

Alan Bernstein: you'd ever been to this jeweler first time.

Ben Bernstein: Oh, 

Alan Bernstein: And remember, this is a secret. Very few people knew until after I ordered the ring and then I got it. 

Terri Bernstein: The key point to this is, he had no money to pay for it because mom would have known.

Mom had 

Alan Bernstein: control of all the money. She still does. And still does. Rightfully 

Terri Bernstein: so. 

Alan Bernstein: So, I have to start hoarding cash. And the only way I knew how to do that was steal it from work. What was to get it from work. And I mean, we kept track of it. I, it wasn't, I wasn't stealing but I had to take it out of safes and deposits.

And, and so we had to hoard [01:00:00] cash. It was not a cheap ring. It was not a cheap ring. And so I go and finally pay for it. I finally hoard enough that we got it a week, I think, before the anniversary. And so I brought it to work and everybody was, it was stunning. It was a stunning ring. And so finally our anniversary comes and I take her out. She has no idea where she's going. 

 I gave her the ring at the little restaurant in augusta, kentucky That's on the riverfront 

 After dinner. I bring out the ring and I give it to her and she looks at it. And she sizes it up like you would, you know, size, like she did Veg-O-Matic.

Alan Bernstein: Yes. Like the Veg-O-Matic. And her first word is I don't want that. And I kept thinking [01:01:00] this jeweler is going to kill me. He is going to kill me. So I put it back in my pocket. And we talked about it. I said, this is a beautiful ring. You can put your old ring or the old necklace or in a necklace or a bracelet or, you know, something.

She said, absolutely not. This is my wedding ring and that's what I want. So the next day I go back to the jeweler and I said, I hate to do this to you. But I'm bringing back the ring she doesn't want it and he says What and I said she doesn't want the ring and he goes Mr. Bernstein, you are the first and only customer that has ever returned a custom ring and if I had to pay something.

I think it was a few hundred bucks, a restocking fee, but [01:02:00] it's a true story. I bought her just a gorgeous ring and I had all the great intentions and she didn't want it. She still has the little diamond right now. 

Terri Bernstein: Well, we just had the 50th anniversary, you didn't try to do it again.

I 

Alan Bernstein: did not. I, 

Ben Bernstein: That was probably about what she wanted the whole time though that kind of party. Yeah. Yeah, she didn't want any Jewelry, she wanted All of her friends around and 

Alan Bernstein: yep We had a great 50th. We really did. That was a very nice party 

Ben Bernstein: Okay do you know what time it is?

Do you want to do this intro to should we have?

Moderator: Now it is time for Ramblin' on the Rivers.

Word of the day. 

Ben Bernstein: This is quickly becoming America's favorite segment On podcast, this week's word [01:03:00] is very pertinent to this episode because this reaction, I think, was probably given at many instances during this episode.

But today's word of the day is 

Alan Bernstein: flabbergasted , and you spell that. Of course, flabber would be spelled F or P H what's flabber mean? Flabber, well, flabber, go on, go on, and then gassed it. So like having gas, what? No, it's gassed it. Maybe you did have gas and you no longer have gas. You are gassed it.

So flabbergasted was what the jeweler was is what the jeweler was 

Ben Bernstein: when I, yeah, we haven't even gotten to the definition yet. 

Terri Bernstein: Oh, I'm sorry. 

Ben Bernstein: He's still trying to get started. We're trying 

Terri Bernstein: to use it as a word in a sentence. [01:04:00] 

Ben Bernstein: Oh, 

Alan Bernstein: do I have to use it in a sentence? We're still waiting for you to spell it.

Oh yeah. Well, that's right. So it's flab, you know, it could be PH. This is, it could be , it could be P-H-L-A-B-E-R. G-E-S-T-E-D. 

Ben Bernstein: Flabbergasted. Flabbergasted. We'll let let everybody make their own spelling. Oh, well, do you wanna spell? It's a 

Alan Bernstein: real word. It is a real word. Oh, it is? Yeah. I just thought I made up flabbergasted, but anyway the definition is what the jeweler's reaction was when I brought the ring back shock, shocked and dismayed, confused, greatly surprised or astonished.

Yes. Greatly surprised. Or [01:05:00] astonished. And in this case, he was crying because he had to give me all the money back. Which is minus the restocking fee. And no, do we have an origin of flabbergasting? I don't have a real good origin. He's been 

Terri Bernstein: making up his origins.

Well, I 

Alan Bernstein: think, 

Ben Bernstein: He was flabbergasted that Cali Whompers, there was a real word that it came 

Alan Bernstein: from. Yeah. Right. The origin would probably be German, flabber, flopper, flabber, gasted. I don't know. I'm cutting you off. Okay. 

Moderator: Oh, Jesus. Can 

Ben Bernstein: you, 

Moderator: you Welcome to As the Paddle Wheel Turns.

Our look at pertinent current events happening right now in the world.

Ben Bernstein: Well, maybe not all around the world, but in our world. Well, the Olympics are going on. That's around the world. The Olympics are going on. We're [01:06:00] not doing the Olympics. I know. We have for at least the last 20 years. What do you think? Do you think it's been a long time? It's been a long time. Somebody had asked me the other day, has this really been going on for 20 years?

And I said, at least, at least I think, at least that's what we're going to say. Well, I came 

Terri Bernstein: to work for BB in 2000. Which was 

Ben Bernstein: 24 years ago. Which was 24 years ago. And that was 

Alan Bernstein: your first all And 

Terri Bernstein: we were going, we were going then. 

Alan Bernstein: Yeah, okay. Good. So we're actually 24 years. 

Terri Bernstein: Well, I mean, I don't know how long it's been, but I know that it's been at least that long.

So this 

Ben Bernstein: week, the Belle of Cincinnati is on our annual summer cruise tour. We actually take our largest boat and we travel it. Up the river, and stop at six river towns along the way, and we actually operate our regular schedule, our lunch sightseeing and dinner cruises out of those cities. So we stop in Portsmouth, Ohio, Ashland, Kentucky, Huntington, West Virginia, Point Pleasant, [01:07:00] West Virginia, Gallipolis, Ohio, and Maysville, Kentucky. 

Basically all the cities that are within driving distance of Cincinnati, but just a little bit too far too. Come in and come out without an overnight stay. And we take the boat and we do those do those cruises from that city. And people really enjoy their time. 

Alan Bernstein: Why do we not go to 

Ben Bernstein: Ironton anymore? I think that had something to do with the River Museum and Point Pleasant.

Yeah. Yeah. Not on our budget. Why 

Alan Bernstein: don't we 

Terri Bernstein: not? We have a business meeting every time we talk anyway. We could just keep talking. 

Ben Bernstein: So anyway, so we go we do those cruises. The boat has gone for eight days and we 

Terri Bernstein: tramp from city to city. We 

Ben Bernstein: used to call it B. B. Campers, camp BB, BB. That was for our staff.

That was to get 

Terri Bernstein: them excited that they were going to camp, 

Alan Bernstein: not 

Terri Bernstein: to work like a dog. 

, it is a very 

Alan Bernstein: successful [01:08:00] and we're like the circus coming to town.

We really go. I mean, people are so excited when we get there, 

Terri Bernstein: they line up, they line up, they come down and 

Alan Bernstein: take pictures and , they want to get on the boat. And, and, oh my God, it's it is, it is a real real happening in some of these small towns. 

Terri Bernstein: So we had one time where dad was trying to put down his foot and said, Terri, you're not allowed to get off the boat after the dinner cruise. Cause sometimes we would go up into town and we would go to bars or restaurants and dad said, you are to stay on the boat.

You need to be in charge. You need to watch what's going on. You need to stay up. I'm going to bed. So everybody got to go out and I'm sitting there. Nobody's there. This was silly that I had to sit there. So dad goes to bed and he is sound asleep. So I decided that I'm going to sneak off the boat.

And so I go into town, 

Ben Bernstein: I 

Terri Bernstein: go into town and [01:09:00] everybody is, I think at this point, they're all at waffle house getting food. And Posey calls me and says, boss lady, you better get back here right now. I'm like, what? Hmm. Okay. He said, there is a fight going on, on the first deck and your dad is now standing up in the middle of the room screaming for you and you are supposed to be there.

So I went to get some scattered, covered, smothered hash browns. And I said, I'm going to need those to go. And I ran back to the boat and there was a guy going, crazy in the middle of 

Alan Bernstein: absolutely nuts mark mark mark. He was yelling mark 

Terri Bernstein: mark mark mark 

Alan Bernstein: And I'm saying who in the hell is mark 

Terri Bernstein: and dad was so mad at me.

Oh he wanted to kill me because I had left He just wanted to go to sleep and every time he'd go to sleep people would slay in the door And 

Alan Bernstein: we had a rule that when Captain Al [01:10:00] was sleeping there was no noise No noise Yeah, because Captain Al needed his sleep and I slept where everybody else slept. I mean, that's the way the captain should do it It wasn't good.

Not many captains do that. No, you're right. Most of them 

Terri Bernstein: Lesson learned. Nothing ever happens unless I, sneak off the boat. 

Ben Bernstein: Who was the person that was going crazy? He was 

Alan Bernstein: one of our employees. Oh, he was? Yeah. He's actually going crazy. Well, no, he actually wasn't. 

Terri Bernstein: He had had a lot to drink. And he had decided to go, I guess, down.

He was 

Alan Bernstein: looking for Mark.

Terri Bernstein: And he was screaming, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark. I mean it's hard to, it's hard for people to realize how funny it was. It was funny at the moment, but dad was not happy 

Alan Bernstein: for 

Terri Bernstein: days. He kept saying, who in the hell is Mark? 

I [01:11:00] don't even think we hit a mark on the boat. I don't think we did either. He's probably just screaming, Terri, Terri, we need Mark.

Somebody go find Mark. 

Oh my god. 

The better story is, I was not there. But they all decided, we used to have theme nights, so once everybody got off the boat, we would have, like, a talent contest, or, each night, we would do something fun with the crew afterwards.

Well, I guess one night, they all decided they were going to do karaoke night. And they, were singing and Captain Kerry comes up and he says, stop slamming on the floor. They were beating the floor. And he said, I'm trying to sleep. You're waking me up.

And I was like, okay, you know, nobody ever wants to wake up the captain. Cause then you're in a lot of trouble. So I guess he goes back downstairs and goes to bed while they all get up and decide the sing we are the world. The entire crew is standing on the dance floor singing [01:12:00] we are the world and it's at the point where Bill, my Bill, has the microphone in his hand and they are singing and he looks over and he sees Kerry standing in the doorway and everybody is mid song and Bill turns around and sets the microphone down and sits down like nobody's going to see him sitting there.

And Kerry came up there and he was not a happy camper. That was bedtime. 

Alan Bernstein: Yeah. Yes, it was. So, we had a few of 

Terri Bernstein: those. 

Alan Bernstein: Yes. The one kid in Huntington, West Virginia, didn't know that there was a wire across the Walkway, and he was on a bicycle and came down there.

Ben Bernstein: What 

Alan Bernstein: do you mean a wire across? 

Terri Bernstein: There's a line. 

Ben Bernstein: It was a line. , like mooring the boat to the, to the landing?[01:13:00] 

Alan Bernstein: Full speed. Full speed. And it was like a cartoon for the kid. Oh, it hurts. Oh my god. He 

got up. I don't know how because the crash was And his bicycle wobbled. His wheel was, and he's going, my bicycle, my bicycle, I said, your bicycle, hell, how in the hell are you? He did a header into the concrete, and I thought, I said, oh my god, oh, 

Terri Bernstein: was he looking at the boat?

Yeah, he 

Alan Bernstein: wasn't paying attention, well he couldn't see, it was dark, I mean it was, [01:14:00] it was dark.

Ben Bernstein: Well, We have come to the end of the show.

Thank God

next week we will get Captain Troy Manthey on the line from Tampa, Florida. He'll not be here live. No, he will be calling us from the confines of the sunshine state. Yep. And we will do what we had planned on doing this week. Yeah. Talk about. Acquiring the the Belle of Cincinnati and the renovation project that ensued, which is crazily 25 years ago this month.

Alan Bernstein: That'll be a good one to listen to. 

Ben Bernstein: Yep. It'll probably We will go up in the ratings on that one. I'm sure. Yeah. It'll probably be another long one like the last couple. Okay. But thank you for listening. We'll see you next week.

Moderator: Thank you for listening to the Ramblin' on the River podcast presented by BB Riverboats. Stay tuned for the next episode of our podcast and remember to like, [01:15:00] subscribe and follow us on all your favorite podcast platforms.

Ben Bernstein: I'm on my way, I'm on my way, I'm on my way. The previous episode was brought to you by BB Riverboats. 

Sponsor Message: The moments that await just around the river's bend are what we look forward to each day. Watching high school sweethearts tie the knot, or watching them celebrate 50 wonderful years together. A group of old friends reuniting for one more adventure, or young minds embarking on their first.

At BB Riverboats, we believe a cruise on the mighty Ohio is where lifelong memories are made. And that once you experience it, you'll want to share it with others time and time again. Plan your group event at BBRiverboats. com. Journey Aboard.